Fear, is that you speaking?

My children have been in school for one week. While I am a vet at having school aged-children, I am a first time middle schooler mom. Middle school and high school were some really rough years for me. As my son enters those years I really felt my anxiety creep up. I love my boys so much and of course I believe that they are amazing and wonderful and world changers…but I also know not everyone will see them with their mother’s vision. With that being said, while giving my boys the usual pep talk I heard some words fly out of my mouth that were drenched with fear and doubt. I didn’t mean for that to happen. My talk was supposed to be so uplifting, but soon took a twist and I ended up exposing a wound I guess never really healed. A wound of twenty years was exposed and I unintentionally saw myself bleeding all over the kids (metaphorically of course).

That got me to think about how much I let fear just bubble below the surface of my life. Clearly, I’ve had this issue or concern but I was able to keep it at bay until something triggered it. Maybe like me, you think you’ve healed that wound in your soul and unfortunately find yourself taken aback when you see it freshly displayed. What do you do then?

Once wounded we do everything we can to never feel that pain again. Which causes us to move in fear even if we physically move past the incident, it hovers in our mind like a dark cloud coming to ruin our picnic.

How am I overcoming those negative thoughts

1. My kids are not me,they will have their own experiences and need to own them for themselves
2. Put myself out there..fully be myself. We allow fear to stop us fr displaying our true selves. We overthink things, and scrutinize so much of our thoughts and actions. What are you doing just to live your own life.
3. Disregard other’s expectations, we fear letting people down. We have people in our lives we love and respect and want them to be proud of us. While I believe in accountability I don’t believe in living your life for others. It doesn’t matter how hard we try someone is going to disagree with our decisions. Sit with the disappointment but don’t let it consume you.
4. Finally-gratitude, look at how your life is today be grateful for what you have. Make realistic goals but don’t do so for approval. Do it because it brings you joy.

What are some ways you disrupt fear and doubt in your life?