Entry 9- Slow down

Happy November Pivoter!

October had some where to be and went there. I am telling November to come on in, sit down and don’t touch anything! LOL But seriously October was hard. It ushered in some really odd feelings. Feelings of feeling behind. I have always prided myself on my work, on doing the work-the first one in and the last one to leave. Even looking at those who did not with disdain. I remember six months after leaving a job a former co-worker told me the “new” me- the young lady who took my position was nothing like me. She did not do all the things I did to help keep the ship running in top shape. I took pride in the “compliment” at the time, but now I wish I could apologize to the young lady that came after me. Sis, do your job and go home. Because despite all the extra that I did-I was never offered a raise and when I advocated for another position that could possibly pay more I was denied. The work I did to make sure things looked and flowed well-did not change a single dime in my bank account. Now, I believe in passion projects but I also believe in being able to eat. Doing the work I do should not mean that I can receive the same government benefits of those I am serving. It means we are both underpaid and overworked.

I recently tried to make some shifts and thought I had some really great opportunities on the rise-when none of those opportunities materialized I took it really hard. All the hard work, all the lower paying jobs I took in order to “gain experience needed for the field”, did not open up any new doors. Baby-I was dismayed and disillusioned! I felt bamboozled! I also was really hurt because being the best was my whole identity. But being the best means I am comparing myself to some outside entity. I wasn’t trying to be the best version of me-I wanted to be the best, period. That caused some really unhealthy boundaries and goals that were not based on what I felt God telling me to do.

My five year old came to me on Monday with a challenge. He said he is not going to play on his phone, tablet or Switch for the next three weeks. Instead he wants to do other activities (ride his bike, paint, play board games etc.). I told him I would join him. So for three weeks I am off social media. what does this have to do with what I said in the first two paragraphs-well, it’s simple, when you unplug you gain clarity. When you unplug you begin to hear and see things clearer. I felt very sure in my quiet time that this is my season of being still. I’ve been hustling and bustling so much that I can’t even hear God’s voice. Everything seems so important and I feel always like the proverbial horse chasing the carrot on the stick.

I want to encourage you to take some time away. Even if it’s just half a day to sit and be with your own thoughts. Sit and reflect on what God is calling you from and what He is calling you into.

Pivot with purpose,


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